we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
