Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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