Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
These tits shall not be calmed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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