The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm both gender and math confused
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
