Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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