he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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