Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize