hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
