We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
