I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
