Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
