Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The power of my boobs compel you
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
