He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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