shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
