Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
