...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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