you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
