Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
