Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
