Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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