I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
