shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Randomize