No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i think im in europe. pls send help
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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