there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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