God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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