He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
