You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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