Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
