shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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