Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
kristin has been a bad kristin
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
