kristin has been a bad kristin
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize