I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
