i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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