Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize