he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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