there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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