i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
