I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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