I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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