I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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