We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
