Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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