i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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