i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
