I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
