Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
