if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Two words: blizzard sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
