No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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