i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
