I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
