I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
its not stalking. its research.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
