You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
