I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
