I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
