He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
