Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
